10 Apr 2015

When Sleep eludes me - Break

Right now the jagged sounds of Sublimes album 40oz. to Freedom is pumping quietly on the TV which also counts as the computer screen at the house. I've got all the lights off minus that which comes from the previously mentioned screen. I'm not afraid of the dark, I like the fact that most folks get spooked by the dark. When I'm out with the troops I love walking in the dark on exercise and it shows with the spring in every quiet step I take.

It's been awhile since if I had a night like this.

Well its been awhile since I've had a moment like this.

I kinda go mad. I get jitters that take hold that come tumbling out of my brain and give me trouble. When I was ten years younger I would stay up most nights until the sun rose. I'd let the madness, what I've called these events, take over and just run me over.

In a few hours I'll wake up groggy next to Lady Bear, curing the madness. I'll put on my clothes, drive out to the Elgin Street Diner fuel up and rough through my work day.

I'm hoping to get five hours of sleep.

I think it was Joe Hill's book Horns that lit this fire. You see I've not been reading... at all. Lady BEar made mention of it last night and we stopped by a picked up two books. Joe Hill's Horns, and the last book from Richard Morgan's series a Land Fit for Heroes, The Dark Defiles. I spent two hours and a hundred plus pages in bed with Joe Hill and his book and instead of sleep the dark just woke me up.

I'm trying to not find more things that will keep the fire lit.

It's hard and it's one of the reasons I'm writing this post now.

I'm trying to not pull out the XBox controller and put on a game that will take me away. I'm trying to push this bout of madness out as quickly as possible. Like when a kid sucks the straw of a juice box at lunch and to speed things up the kid squeezes the box forcing the juice faster.

I've already cycled out Soundgarden and Tool on the music, Sublime tang and stretching tones seems to fit well as I plug away at finding the straw so I can then work the box and get back to bed.

I've switch to Blue Foundation but my Album info is all twisted by the creatures at Apple who've miss titled the songs. Bonfires is twisted and is slowing rolling around the room as the sparks from the snares in the song keep driving home the lyrics. - To walk beside you/is where I want to be.

I want to be beside Lady Bear right now - but I'll toss and turn, roll and groan only to keep her awake and so I'm here in the dark alone.

Sometimes I feel this is where I ought to be. Alone wrapped in the dark - like a thin cover that keeps in just enough body heat to sleep in.

I left the book upstairs, I'm going to turn on the TV and watch some Netflix and hopefully pass out soon.

- Cheers

Dozer