8 Jul 2014

I hate it here.

Well folks that pretty sums up my day. 

I'm being a cranky bitch again. I tried to make it better and yet things keep sliding down the fucking rabbit hole. I'm watching the world and the folks in it be free and yet I feel trapped in a cage. 

Spider Jerusalem - Copyright DC
Art by Robertson - Written by Ellis
I work a job that I have to fight with everyone else - bosses, clients, and coworkers. They don't care, they want everything, and the rest are pretty much as a majority (there are some who are not) lazy. 

I want to go out and camp, play games - I don't want to be injured again. My foot's fucked. I want to eat better but when you're not allowed to even leave your place of work for over 12 hours - you're limited to the crap foods. 

The average person wakes, cleans (some work out), eats and works. Four hours later they eat again, work and leave work before eating again. All in the average span of 10 hours (some are around 11). For more than 12 hours I'm eating only junk - microwaved, pre-made, snack ... the crap foods we're told to not eat. But I have no place to cook or even microwave most nights... asking for an accessible fridge on most days is a wonder. 

Yet... 

I'm too educated, too experienced or sadly both, to work anywhere else. I'm too poor to make changes. I have no time to enjoy. People have lives and I've had to step out to the sidelines to watch all year long. I've been at this for over a year.

The games are being played yet I can never be there or watch it live, I'm always watching the highlights the next day on the way to work.

Imagine living life like that. Getting only the play by play, highlights and commentary. Never watching the game from the couch, live or even better - playing it.

Imagine that.

... I'm tired, poor, angry and frustrated (yes the last two are different states).

I'm always explaining why I'm the above because no one understands. Not even the wife gets it, she has her own issues and its hard on her when I lose my shit. 

I hate it here. 

Tomorrow better be somewhere else because this place sucks.