I've been down recently but the last couple of weeks since I turned 34 have been getting better for a few reasons:
- I'm trying harder to feel better. Only I can make myself feel better. It's no one else responsibility. Folks can help, I can get tools to use from experts, and if the brain is chemically fucked there are things to help out... lucky for me I've avoided that last one.
- I've got plenty of support. My Wife is my best source of joy. She supports me when I fall apart or feel brittle. There are moments when I just can't take it and she's right beside me helping me pick up the chips that fall away from my very being.
- My mates are coming out and I think that they are starting to understand the situation I've been in. I've kept it locked down the last couple of months on how I've been feeling but when I broke down a couple weeks ago, I've just become honest. It's raw and it leaves folks a wee bit surprised but some are trying to pull me out of my funk.
As I'm trying to sleep early enough so I can have breakfast (at 5am) with my wife, I found the video after the break posted in Facebook. It rocked me out of my funk long enough for me to post another biddy... see you after the break.
I've posted a few times on people being jerks or people being kind. This made me feel a bit better because it's trying to tell me everyone is not all selfish and ignorant to the rest of the world and the people that inhabit it. It reminds me that there are some out there who do not live in the bubble of me.
- From the fine ladies at the Weather Vane Sisterhood: Julia is fighting a PPD and her sister Toni lost her job and is instead helping out around with the family while searching for work.
- Dawn Seeker is looking for reliable contractors. The folks working my parents main floor are brilliant. A day later they are getting calls from Dawn Seeker's office.
- Someone left SHIT, in the laundry machines (washer and dryer) and all over the floor. When our day went to shit, kinda literal, Pale Rider and his lady offered me and the Wife a place to do a load of laundry and some supper.
These are just three examples of folks not being jerks to each other.
I want more.
I want everyone to get along.
I'm dreaming, but that's ok. It's been too long since I last hazarded to dream.
The video above let me do that.
I'm off to sleep.